Super Fly

I took sadistic pleasure in microwaving a fruit fly. After informing him of this, John delicately asked me if I found the carcass. He implied I may have created a monster. So look for a super, genetically modified, red-eyed, Drosophila melanogaster attacking a town near you…Where are the Power Puff Girls when you need them?

I find the best way to get rid of those nasty flying eyes and still set fruit on the counter is the vacuum cleaner. Problem is I can’t decide which bugs me most, fruit flies eating my tomatoes, or good old Dyson hanging around the kitchen all week.

Speaking of tomatoes and fruit flies…Last year we spent Thanksgiving in Utah. When we returned I found the little devils flying around the dining room. I found this very peculiar for the time of year and the fact that there had been no food sitting out for over a week. Upon further investigation I found the mass of the invasion congregated in the china hutch. This truly perplexed me; never saw a bug in there before. Now I was really on the case, to search out the mystery of the flies. I shortly discovered one of my children created a science project and/or potion. In a little jar I found several rotting grape tomatoes floating in murky water. Well it worked; they spontaneously produced a culture of living organisms.

This year we spent our summer vacation in Utah, again. I had each of the kids pack their own suitcases. Esther showed particular enthusiasm for the task and filled her trunk with every thing she could possibly need to enjoy the trip. Two months later I was cleaning out the storage room and encountered a strange odor emitting from a little red suitcase. I thought all the suitcases had been properly emptied at journeys end, but when I opened the case I found a dirty sock. Well the sock was not dirty enough to warrant the smell, so I put it in the laundry (I had been looking for that one for some time) and started feeling around in all the nooks and crannies. Finally I unearthed a sandwich baggy containing the remains of a very sour tomato in the small lid pocket. It seems she never got to enjoy her snack. After a few good bleachings I’m still not sure that parcel will ever be useable again.

The Handcuffs

Last week Kimball went to play at his friend’s house. He returned pleased to display a pair of handcuffs belonging to his friend. Korosh got them at a fair in California and let Kimball borrow them for the weekend. Instantly, the attention of the entire household was fixed on the wonders of these amazing metal objects. Even I was drawn in noting that I had never seen play handcuffs which were not plastic. Soon everyone and everything was temporality attached to something else (a chair, a table leg, their brother) at the mercy of a little key. Unfortunately, making something out of metal does not guarantee quality and the locking mechanism was very temperamental. First John was stuck, then James. A fork was a better tool for opening them up than the keys, and that required great effort. Of course this only intrigued the kids more and most of the boys ended up prisoners for long periods of time. They were constantly interrupting General Conference with, “Dad would you unlock me?” But the worst part was Saturday morning, John and I got up early to pick up a few things at Safeway. When we returned we found Katie’s leg locked up to a bar of her crib. She is an amazingly placid girl and was merely sitting there sucking her fingers staring at James, the perpetrator who was trying to release her from her prison. Actually it was pretty funny to see, but I had to lecture him about, what if the house would have caught on fire! (Wish I would have taken a picture)

The fate of the handcuffs regrettably, is they finally gave up and fell apart. Kimball paid his friend, and I am looking for the last piece to see if I can repair them. Please, don’t lone anything to my children.